A Powell Family Christmas Card

As a family, we have a grand total of three pictures of all of us together.  Three. With the most recent being taken on Halloween, and all of which were taken on a cell phone. Even if we had a good picture of all of us, I’m still not sure I could do the Shutterfly Super Mom Christmas Card thing.  I simply don’t have the time, the money, or the care.  So, those of you who have been wondering what the Powells have been up to this year.  Allow me to divulge…

Reed 20171202_165251
Age: 7
Grade: 2
Reed will be 8 in a matter of weeks. If you talk to him you’d think he was turning 18.  He insists on participating in adult conversations about which he knows nothing.  Which isn’t annoying at all.  He has a comment for any and all situations.  If you want to know a random made up fact about anything, just ask Reed.  He hates girls and still pisses all over the toilet and floor every morning.  The only subject in school he gives a shit about it Art, which is fine.  He has amazing talent.  We’ve already started saving for Art School, and are accepting the fact that he’ll probably live in our basement for the rest of his life.
Greatest Accomplishment: Gaining just enough weight to not be concerned about his health.

Claire
Age: 2 20171201_184148
Claire will be three next month, despite the fact that is transitioning to 5t clothes as we speak.  She’s a bit of a beast.  She’s the quintessential threenager.  Everything is hers, nothing is her brother’s, and “no” is the answer to every question.  At some point, she came the conclusion that we care about her opinion. I assure you, we do not. She will be starting pre-school in January.  They will be focusing on her speech while she is there.  It would seem I have given birth to a Pentecostal minister who only speaks in tongues.  She loves food and hates pants.
Greatest Accomplishment: Making Reed uncomfortable by stripping naked to play in the basement.

Samuel
Age: 1 20171128_085549
Our little Sammy just turned 1 in October.  He is a real asshole.  He is in the process of cutting his final 4 teeth, and they are taking their sweet ass time.  In his defense, he is finally sleeping through the night, which only took him about a year to do.  I don’t want to say he’s a Mama’s Boy, but he makes Norman Bates looks like a well-adjusted, independent man of the world.  His interests include screaming, crying, open mouth kisses, and laughing at his brother.
Greatest Accomplishment: Figuring out how to walk on the hardwood in socks.

Josh
Age: 41 20171123_135149
Daddy got himself a big boy job.  No more working on cars and having people ask him for free/cheap labor.  Now he gets to sit at a desk and get fat just like the rest of us. While he would love to go to the gym at least three days a week, we have three children.  You take sleep over pretty much anything.  Despite all the changes he has seen over the year, he still hates most of humanity and drinks enough Bourbon to keep Kentucky in business for the foreseeable future.
Greatest Accomplishment: Establishing a new poop schedule based on the new work schedule.

Leah
Age: None of your damn business 20171209_112654
I have had yet another insane year.  I have started and stopped a diet/work out plan about three different times now.  Since February of this year, I have lost zero pounds.  If anyone breaks down and needs a spare tire, just give me a call.  I started drinking coffee for the first time in my life this year.  I officially feel like an adult.  I never wear makeup anymore, and rarely even shower.  If I have to put pants on that aren’t sweatpants, I bitch incessantly about it.  My life revolves around peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, diapers, and saying the word, “No” about a thousand times a day.  And as of January, it will be one whole year since I have had a haircut.
Greatest Accomplishment:  Not getting pregnant.

We hope everyone has enjoyed their 2017 as much as we have, and are looking forward to 2018 as much as we are. Merry Christmas!

6 Comments

  1. So refreshing to read an honestly REAL Christmas letter instead of the sugar coated accomplishments that make us feel inadequate.
    Pass the bourbon. Let’s try to get through the next 11 days.

    Like

    Reply

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